Experience the 12-Steps together without shame, one step at a time, in order, as simply as possible. This group uses a combination of step writing, assignments, posting on a special "hidden" forum, and a phone conference twice a week.
Dov Describes the Phone Group:
We do not use any specific text but do refer to some. Rather, being an addict in recovery, I describe the way I do each step and how I use it in my life, and others (with experience) on the call share the same thing. People have a chance to ask questions and we discuss ways to work each step.
Members are encouraged to work each step by doing a little writing between calls once in a while and to ask all the questions they were always afraid to ask on the calls.
It is not for guys who are trying to become frummer, nor is it for anybody looking for a heter. We realize that inspiration does us no good, in the long run. Only action - the right action - does us any good. It is a workshop, not a pep-talk, nor a shiur.
If you believe you have a real problem, then this may be for you. Of course, it may not. Nobody is ever asked to 'please participate', nor is anyone ever asked to stay. It's totally the individual's choice and always will be - just like real life. The members get to know each other pretty well on the call, and some pursue recovery connections with each other out of the call, as well. That's always a good thing. If you need something more structured than this call, that's great - (in-person) meetings are available almost everywhere, and making that personal investment is often a very big step toward recovery and a better life. But every step counts. Some enjoy the calls even though they are already going to meetings. Of course, doing nothing real, at all, because "I need something different", is never a good idea.
Note: Guys who come late to the call miss a lot and interrupt things a bit, but we never discourage anyone from joining late if they really need to be late once in a while.
Notes
There are the 9 principles that Dov hopes those on his call will adhere to:
1 - Be ready to actually work the steps rather than just talk about them and study them. With the help of Hashem, this group will refer to texts including the Big Book and the SA White-Book (download links below).
What we are after is an experience of working the 12-Steps together without shame, one step at a time, in order, as simply as possible. (After all, if there is even too much shame on line, how will we ever let go of that burden in real life?).
2 - We will try to live one day at a time in every way possible.
3 - We agree to use our real first names within the group and to try to be honest with the other group members about anything and everything as it comes up. What we put into this is exactly what we will get out of it.
4 - We agree to daven for each group member that we remember, at least once per day.
5 - We agree to keep in touch at least once daily with at least one other group member in person, by email, by PM or by phone.
6 - We agree to take out at least 5 minutes every day to talk to Hashem - even if we feel it is not 'working' it is an investment for when the 11th step finally starts to 'work'.
7 – We will not follow a director or a leader, and will try our best to put our own sobriety first. As far as Dov is concerned, the most important thing you all need to remember is that Dov is an addict prone to bouts of craziness like anyone else and still so powerless over lust. In that spirit, if anyone decides to leave, no one need try to convince them to stay. It's not about 'the group' - we are each here to do what is best for our own sobriety, period.
8 – We will keep everything that anybody else says in the group private on the rest of the forum, especially names and personal info. This is a big one, and without it the group will collapse.
9 – As much as possible, we will try to keep all our posts focused on the solution, rather than on the problem. Should a member have to reset their sobriety date, he is encouraged to let the group know, but to keep the focus in our time together on the solution. The only real training there is for living in the solution is: living in the solution.
Relevant Links, Resources and Downloads
Please download the "Big Book" of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and the "White Book" of SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) using the links below.
We also suggest downloading The 12 Steps & 12 Traditions. (Right click the link and select "Save Link/Target As")
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